I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
I honestly think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
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